Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Dear Evil Discussor... What do you dream of at night?

I dream of rocketships and spacemen.
I dream of tiny dancing gnomes.
I dream of flying over the city and squares like a big beautiful birdie.
I dream of soft billowy clouds made of air.
I dream of butterflies and bonsai trees and blowjobs.
I dream about writing blogs about dreams. And write about dreaming blogs about writing.
I dream of flight attendants. But not the man ones. The lady ones.
I dream of them reaching over my aisle seat to pass a drink to the guy by the window and smothering me with their immense lady-ness.
I dream of you and me, holding hands, running free through Blogtown, a magical land of blogs where instead of working, we blog. Instead of driving cars, we drive words. And instead of living in houses, we live in cabins.
I dream about finally consummating every single last relationship I ever had that I never had a chance to consummate. And by "consummate" I mean "fuck."
I dream about grilled cheese and bacon.
I dream about gravy.
I dream about grilled cheese and bacon dipped in gravy.
I dream about a potato chip flavor called "Grilled Cheese and Bacon Dipped in Gravy."
I dream about dipping that chip in gravy.
Then I dream about putting it in a grilled cheese and bacon.
Fuck, I'm hungry.


previous post about bacon
Dear Evil Discussor... Are you eating the world's largest salad right now?

previous post not about bacon
Dear Evil Discussor... Is the new Cuisinart Coffee-On-Demand Coffee Maker the greatest invention ever invented?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Based on your dreams, Freud will tell you that you're a big fat jolly gay guy.

Loyal Anon

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If dreaming about bacon makes you gay, then I don't want to be straight. Seriously, how can those crazy Muslims hate pork?

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

loyal anon,

i can tell you that i have had encounters with evil outside of blog world and he is DEFINITELY not a big fat jolly gay guy...think what you will though.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

He's right. I am in no way jolly.

5:47 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

cheese, bacon, and gravy are 3 of my top 5 things in the world. the other 2 are blogging and commenting.

8:48 AM  

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