Dear Evil Discussor... Is this the last Evil Discussor post ever?
Before I close the book on this chapter of my Evil life, I just wanted to thank you. All of you. Everyone who's ever even read just a couple of words of mine. Who's ever commented, positively or negatively, for better or for worse. Who's ever had their day slightly lifted by a silly little something I might have said. For me, these past bunch of blogging months have quite possibly been the greatest months of my life. An experience that I will not soon forget. The moments I spend sitting at my keyboard, typing away, sending my little love posts out to you, are the most personally fulfilling and rewarding moments of my each and every day. And I thank you for that. For the time you've spent reading what I've had to say. For the connection that we've made and shared. I've never met most of you, but I have cherished every last minute we've spent together. I am certain that I am a better person for it. And hopefully, in some ways, you are too.
But all good things must come to an end. And though these past months have been like a rather wondrous dream, some things have come up in my life. Some issues that can no longer be avoided. That I can no longer hide from, and must deal with, and focus all of my energy on. Like, my chronic masturbation problem, for starters. I'm only trying to joke, to keep this light, but I think you can tell how difficult this really is for me. Saying goodbye isn't easy. But it must be done. From this day forth, I will be putting this whole blogging business behind me, once and for all.
So, to all other bloggers out there, to all commenters, to all readers, I say thanks once again. Keep on writing. Keep on reading. And, most importantly, keep on blogging. You are truly, truly amazing. Each and every one of you. The world needs you. And don't forget that.
Thanks again for everything - it was a great ride.
I know, I know. You're thinking, "Don't do this, Evil. My days won't be the same without you. I cannot live without your douchebaggery and humpaliciousness. Like a sweet song, your evilocity has gotten me through some tough times. A rough spell at work. A nasty divorce. A child molestation charge. I need you. I really do. And I love you. More than a friend. You make me laugh. Once in a very very rare while, true. But whatever. Still. Don't retire this blog. Please. Please. Don't go."
Well, its going to be hard but... Wait.
Wow. Fine. Okay. Fuckit. I'll stay. For you. Alright. Cool. Forget all that gay 'leaving' shit. I'm back.