Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Dear Evil Discussor... What are some of the weirder-ass web searches that have led to this site?

Sometimes, when all my evil deeds are done for the day, when my work is put away and I find myself at rest, I take a gander at the site numbers. That's right. I sit here at Evil HQ, in my Evil Underground Lair, in front of my Evil Computer, in my Evil Underpants and an Evil Ergonomically-Sound Desk Chair, and I tabulate the hits. The page views and loads. See, I like to know things. Like, how many people are reading this shit? And, for god sakes, why the fuck why? I check the referrals. How did your sweet doucheyface get here? And what the shit is wrong with you? Clearly, some of you come for the unbridled hilarity. Some of you, for the wisdom, wit and insight. And some of you, well, you're just visiting because you happened to type "Hairy stinky fat fucky vagina evil cats + mom" into Google, and somehow wound up on this site.

Here are some of the strangest, and some of the most unfortunate searches that have led this way. Some frighten me. Others, frighten me. And all of them, bar none, make me very much regret the fact that I ever started this blog in the first place, and became a cog in the very sick, often dirty, sometimes sexy wheel that is Al Gore's Internet.


evil dear

you can remove gum from your sidewalk by

FUCKY MOM

picture of evil thing

I+Hate+NYU

gay bulge pics

under gum scraping

blerds

fucky

asperger evil

why does bum smell

girlish hands

Bad smell evil

π

FUCKY MOM

sucky sucky fucky fucky

freaky fucky funny bunny

photos of people with dentures

lyrics "what the fuck chuck"

wonderly hilarious children's jokes

when to hump

Roethlisberger bad stomach ache

look at evil people

why people chew gum

shon gables and the view

trader joes evil

what does evil smell like

evilest man ever

marriage love sex china

sucky fucky 5$

sara Nussbaum

why my sweat smell so bad ?

fart in front of girlfriend wife

And, of course:

fat womens fucky sexy womb photos


Notice the repetition of "FUCKY MOM." Clearly a popular search on the web these days. And who hasn't spent hours on the web trying to compile some children's jokes that are both "hilarious" and "wonderly." Or, better yet, trying to figure out once and for all, "why does bum smell?" I suppose I should feel lucky. And special. And honored. That the totally fucking crazed and sad and disturbed guy/psycho killer who actually typed "fat womens fucky sexy womb photos" into a search engine, obviously looking for sexy photos of fat women's fucky wombs, instead, found me. And then, went on with his merry womb search. How rewarding to be but a passing participant in that searcher's very special wonderful web journey.



Yours,
E.D.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

do you hate nyu too? those of us who dont sell drugs out of dorms, do stupid things in the library, or stalk the olsens really arent so bad.

11:37 PM  
Anonymous New Anonymous Retard said...

e.d. hates everything, most of all, himself.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous amish said...

You know what putting all of those words together in one post is going to do to you right? Should get really interesting...

10:23 AM  
Blogger Audrey. said...

It looks like at least one person was trying to ask you a very important question - what *does* evil smell like?

10:25 AM  
Anonymous loyal anon said...

I googled "sucky blogs" and it brought me here. The rest is just a bunch of wasted time and energy.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous New Anonymous Retard said...

You should have googled "blogs that loyal anons suck up to".Oh... nevermind...same result.Thats ok though, we each have our place.

9:29 AM  
Anonymous loyal anon said...

Actually , I didn't mean any of those nasty comments about you E.D. In fact , I didn't really make them...it was loyal anon,all of this time.

Jury awards $11.3M over defamatory Internet posts
Posted 10/10/2006 10:07 PM ET E-mail | Save | Print | Reprints & Permissions | Subscribe to stories like this



By Laura Parker, USA TODAY
A Florida woman has been awarded $11.3 million in a defamation lawsuit against a Louisiana woman who posted messages on the Internet accusing her of being a "crook," a "con artist" and a "fraud."

9:44 AM  
Blogger dmbmeg said...

E.D.,
Perhaps you can answer me this. What is the origin of adding the made up suffix -ass to to adverbs and adjectives?

1:03 PM  
Anonymous loyal anon said...

I meant every word of those evil commments. Some bitch-ASS (haha eff you dmb) is stealing my name again.

2:07 PM  
Blogger dmbmeg said...

loyal anon-
you are my nemesis.

3:53 PM  
Anonymous loyal anon said...

Finally, I have an internet nemesis!

First one to die loses.

5:04 PM  

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