Thursday, July 06, 2006

Dear Evil Discussor... Did you just spend the entire long weekend writing knock knock jokes about Trader Joe's?


Yes.

I did.

And here they are.






Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cashew.
Cashew who?
I'll cashew later, I'm heading to Trader Joe's.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce go to Trader Joe's. I'm out of Chicken Chili Verde Enchiladas.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Nuts.
Nuts who?
Oh nuts! This line is way too long.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Chicken in is no problem, now that there's no line outside. But checking out still takes quite a while.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Beef.
Beef who?
Beefore you get in the check-out line, grab a tub of those Cat Cookies. They're super tasty.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
No, they don't sell it there. They only sell stuff from their own private label. There might be a Trader Joe's chocolate beverage equivalent though.


And there you have it. That's all I've got. I know, it was an entire long weekend, but whatever. That's like almost two knock knock jokes a day, right? Or a joke and a half or something. Either way, that's pretty effing good. And yeah, that Chicken one barely makes sense, but come on. Stop judging. Anyways, I'll keep going on these. At least until I have enough to publish a beautifully photographed Taschen-style oversized arthouse coffee table book, or just a pocketbook bathroom reader (haven't decided yet) entitled 101 Knock Knock Jokes About Trader Joe's (That Are Sure To Have Them Rolling In The Frozen Mexican Snack Food Aisle). If you've got any, let me know. Because maybe we can go in on this together, you know. Split the crazy-ass profits, quit work and just blog to our little heart's content. You and me, blogging together like little blogging blog lovers.

Actually, you know what, you can blog all you want. Go right fucking ahead, Bilbo Bloggins. I'll be spending my newfound time and wealth doing other, more pleasurable things. Like, say, getting foot massages. And back massages. And, come to think of it, front massages too. A lot a lot of front ones.


Yours,
E.D.

previously
Dear Evil Discussor... Did you just spend another morning feverishly rewriting the lyrics to Mambo #5?

12 Comments:

Blogger Jaime said...

You know, I haven't been in there yet, and I think your knock knock jokes just convinced me to keep my distance.

Lots of bloggity blogging blog love, E.D.

12:15 PM  
Blogger concha said...

you've inspired me to compose my own:

knock knock
who's there?
the biggest peice of shit piss crap mutherfuking slimy ass juice in the whole wide world.
oh, greasy's. i thought that was you.

1:38 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Knock knock.
who's there?
Joe's
Joe's who?
Joe's who(se) first name is Trader.

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think knock knock jokes have hit an all time low. Thanks copyranter.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Trader.
Trader who?
Trader that name in for something better than Joe.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

Nice. But I might edit it to..

Trader who?
Trade yer name in for something better, Joe.

I can edit, see, cause I'm the editor.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Orange.
Orange Who?
Orange you glad you did'nt spend the entire weekend coming up with knock knock jokes with evil?

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the changes you made to my knock knock. It's much better and now probably the best one you got. Nice work.

Loyal Anon. (forgot to sign the former post)

8:45 AM  
Blogger bowling with no panties said...

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Hype.
Hype who?
Hype-rice chocolate fat blobs at Trader Joe's sold as desert right above the "healthy" frozen pad thai bowls in the freezer, making a bitch go off her motherfuckin'diet.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Evil Discussor.

12:51 PM  
Blogger concha said...

dear, evil discussor. what happened to this week's hump day hussy?

11:22 PM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

sweet concha,

don't you worry your little head. (what is that on your little head anyways?) my hump day hussy will be back next week, humpier than ever.

E.D.

12:13 AM  
Blogger concha said...

it's the machine that injects my blog ideas. as you can see, it looks kind of clunky and old so it doesn't work like it did as a new machine. that's why some blogs are good and some are just clunky.

strangely looking forward to the hussy, even though that's weird cause i'm straight n stuff.

-c

11:39 AM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

It's okay to be confused about those sorts of things.

In fact, the Evil Discussor encourages that.

12:27 PM  

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