Dear Evil Discussor... Did you just spend another morning feverishly rewriting the lyrics to Mambo #5?
Yes, but like always, only the choruses. I'm too good for the verses. Besides, who needs them?I like to let Sir Lou Bega lead with the first chorus. Then I take it from there.
A little bit of Monica in my life
A little bit of Erica by my side
A little bit of Rita is all I need
A little bit of Tina is what I see
A little bit of Sandra in the sun
A little bit of Mary all night long
A little bit of Jessica here I am
A little bit of you makes me your man
(speeding up now)
A little bit of Monica blah blah blah
A little bit of Erica doobie doo
A little bit of Rita up my bum
A little bit of Tina buckle my shoe
A little bit of Sandra touch my nuts
A little bit of Mary tickle my nards
A little bit of Jessica what the fuck
A little bit of you fuck fuck fuck fuck
(faster! faster!)
A little bit of Rita you're a douche
A little bit of Wendy douchey douche
A little bit of David fucky malucky
A little bit of Bernie on my knee
Bernie, Bernie, get off of my knee
Please get off you're hurting me
What the fuck, Bernie, get off, man
A little bit of this and that's the end!
If you have a Mambo #5 line you've been working on yourself, please, do share.
That's all,
E.D.
posted by EVIL DISCUSSOR at 10:20 PM
4 Comments:
this made me giggle, I admit it. But...
Dear E.D. what's a "nard?"
also:
Dear Evil Discussor: does it bother you that your initials are the same as erectile dysfunction?
A nard is a nard is a nard is a nard.
And, yes.
More to come at a later date, fare Ranter.
This is one of the most g*ddamned funniest things I've ever read. You're a genius!
I love you, Maulleigh. Even though I hardly know you, I love you. And I'm not afraid to say it. You are the genius for recognizing my genius.
Be sure to tell all of your bloghead friends how wickedly amazing and hilariously humorous I am.
And do come back often to enjoy more of my unbelievable feats of wordmanship.
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