Thursday, June 08, 2006

Dear Evil Discussor... Are you the evilest man in all of Evilstan?

(Pick a good key. Find a hot hot rhythm. Imagine these guys are accompanying your sweet ass. And just belt this one out, motherfuckers!)

Yes, I am the evilest, yes it's true
I am the evilest, how about you?
Are you good are you bad? Are you smart are you dumb?
Do you care not a tad? Do you put things in your bum?

Pencils, erasers, paper and poo
Yes, I am the evilest, how's about you?
Are you happy are you sad? Are you old are you young?
Do you think things are rad? Are you kind of well hung?

Jump down turn around buckle my shoe
Yes, I am the evilest, how about you?
Are you a Morley Safer or a Dan Rather fan?
Are you the evilest man in all of Evilstan?


Cause I am.

So there.

Break it down.

From cock to balls and balls to ass
Fix my roof and cut my grass
Clean my bathroom and scrub my floors
While I spend the weekend with a dozen dirty whores

I'm smarter than smart I'm meaner than mean
I'm better than best and I'm awesome too
That didn't rhyme don't you think I know?
I think I'm smart you think I'm slow

So touch my nipples and my hairy chest
Tetons! Ta-tas! Ten ton breasts!
This is getting dirty blah blah blah
Blah blah blah I'’m tired of this song


Some more songs that are pretty much the same:
Dear Evil Discussor... Did you just spend another morning feverishly rewriting the lyrics to Mambo #5?

Dear Evil Discussor... Who's got the most bestest blog on the webby web web?


Blogger Maulleigh said...

You had me at:

A little bit of Rita you're a douche
A little bit of Wendy douchey douche
A little bit of David fucky malucky
A little bit of Bernie on my knee
Bernie, Bernie, get off of my knee
Please get off you're hurting me
What the fuck, Bernie, get off, man
A little bit of this and that's the end!

10:02 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

I would like to buy your "jingle" and try to sell it to the maker of Pringles.

10:39 AM  
Blogger David said...

Dear Evil Discussor,

I am kind of well hung.

10:50 PM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

All my readers are, david.

And by all, I mean you and Copyranter.

And hopefully not Maulleigh.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous archeress said...

cue banjo intro:

now lissen to a story bout a blogger man
who worked all day writing questions on the can
when his wife asked how they would ever make the rent
he said “don’t worry hun, cuz i’m an Evil gent”

-discussor that is

-salad hater

-verse maker

-ball breaker

-and dirty whore dater


(cue barking/howling dogs)

…Yes, I’m the evilest, yes it’s true… and so on

glad to see you're out of your funk, e.d. after all, your readership-- even if it were only david, cr, and molly, right there you've got the creme de-lah creme.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

Wow. That was honestly awesome. Like Dylan singing Talking Evil Discussor Blues. archeress, your tunesmanship totally puts mine to shame.

You should stop working film production and get over to the music side, pronto.

11:33 AM  

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