Dear Evil Discussor... Who would you like to hump this Hump Day?
Because, I may sometimes be a big old meanie, but I am never, never ever, ever ever, ever ever ever, ever ever ever ever, mean to children that are bald. That's where I draw the line. Especially a child who's gone bald before the tender age of what? Seven?
He's clearly got it rough enough.
Lucy Van Pelt, today you are my Hump Day Hussy.
And whatthefuck, I'll hump you too Sally, if you're around.
OK. Go ahead. Go ahead and hurl the underage child-loving perv accusation at me. But listen. They're fucking animated, k? Your foolish "real life" laws do not apply here. Not here. Not in this imaginary land. Where dogs think they're World War 1 Fighter Pilots and little birds can type. Oh no. You have no authority here.
Remember when I wanted to hump Soledad O'Brien? Wasn't that so totally hilarious and just so wackily obscure of me?
And how about that time I wanted to hump Phoebe Cates? That was great too.