Monday, August 14, 2006

Dear Evil Discussor... Why is my boss a douchebag?

This question was asked of me by a curious questioneer named dingbat. Perhaps a questioneer curious in many ways. One never knows. One does know though that the answer here is simple. And that One is me. And that answer is coming right now.

Because, bosses are douchebags, dingbat. Likewise, bosses are dingbats, douchebag. That's why your boss is a douchebag, dingbat. Because, dingbat, bosses are douchebags. That's why we call them that, dingbat. Douchebags. Why would we call our bosseses douchebags, dingbat, if they weren't douchebags? Dingbat, that wouldn't make any sense. Only a douchebag, dingbat, would call a douchebag a douchebag, dingbat, if that douchebag, dingbat, were not a douchebag. We call bosses douchebags because that's exactly what they are, dingbat. They're douchebags, dingbat. If they weren't, dingbat, douchebags, we probably wouldn't call them that. Douchebags, that is, dingbat. Not dingbat, douchebags. We'd call them something else, dingbat, if they weren't douchebags. Maybe dingbats, douchebag. But we don't call them something other than douchebags, dingbat. Cause, dingbat, they're not something other than douchebags. They're not not douchebags, dingbat. They're not not, dingbat, douchebags. They're douchebags. Which is exactly why we call them that. Douchebags, dingbat. Douchebags. And a douchebag, dingbat, is a douchebag, dingbat, is a douchebag, dingbat, is a douchebag. Dingbat. A douchebag. Dingbat, douchebags.


P.S. 34 mentions of Douchebag in one post. Make that 35. My personal Douchebag record.

P.P.S. 36.

P.P.P.S. If you're going to comment, please continue the douchebaggery, and try to have your comment include the word douchebag. Otherwise, you will be looked upon unfavorably. Like a douchebag, Douchebag.

P.P.P.P.S. 40.

P.P.P.P.P.S. "Douchebaggery" counts, right?

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. 41.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Stop.


Blogger PJ said...

That was the most douchebagious post I've ever come across in my douchebaggian existence. Love your blog douchebag.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Douglas said...

Dear Sir or Madam,

In what manner was this post supposed to be humorous, enlightening, or an interesting read? It appeared to be nothing more than an infantile regurgitation of a most unpleasant word, which I refuse to type; and a nonsensical word, dingbat; repeated adnauseum simply because they "sound cool together."

Your post may come across as intelligent commentary to the television watching drolls that frequent your blog, but to the true intelligencia it reads as a futile attempt at comedy; which you, more than likely, plagarized from According to Jim or some other television "sitcom" that is dumbing down the american consciousness.

I suggest you abdicate your blog immediately and focus your energies on getting an education, as it is apparent you will never achieve notoriety from your writing. This will enable you to find a job that doesn't involve tossing pink sawdust on a 3rd grader's expelled food.

Good day,
Douglas Crepe

P.S. Change your name to Bromidic Discusser; it seems to be more apropos.

3:57 AM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

You forgot to use the word douchebag, but otherwise, awesome comment!

7:12 AM  
Blogger Maulleigh said...

In the immortal words of Professor Gumby: "My Brain Hurts!!!"

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Douglas, just sit on your fingers next time you douchebag. Your attempts to sound intelligent just made you sound more like a douchebag. I mean it probably took you fifteen minutes to type that response cuz you were trying to figure out "big" words so as to belittle my boy ED.

- Loyal Anon.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Lara said...

Douglas is a douchebag AND a dingbat.
And yes, they do sound cool together.
My douchebag boss pays for me to read ED daily, so maybe she is not quite so douchebaggish as I present her to be. But she is definitely dingbattedly douchey.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Slinky Redfoot said...

yes - the Renaissance of the great word "Dingbat"!

10:08 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

douchebag walks into a bar and asks the bartender: "do you know where I can find some pussy around here?"

10:33 AM  
Blogger David said...

Dear Evil Discussor,

What does it mean to "toss pink sawdust on a 3rd graders expelled food?"

Is this referring to a literal effort, or perhaps, a more depraved, Shakespearean Sense?


11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear ED, why don't you have a so-called "blog roll"?

1:20 PM  
Blogger Gigi said...

Dear Evil Discussor,

Question: Why can't I check your site meter? I want to see how bad you're bludgeoning my stats since having been given that hummer by Gawker, douchebag.


8:13 PM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

Evil Discussor likey hummers.

9:55 PM  
Blogger archeress said...

david, the pink sawdust is what school janitors start with when they have to clean some kid's puke. the guy was telling ED he should be a janitor i think. as a frequent puker in elementary school, i remember the janitor and the pink sawdust fairly well.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous dingbat said...

dear evil discussor,

thanks, you really made my day. i'm so glad you're not a douchebag.

-the other d.b.

4:17 PM  

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