Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Dear Evil Discussor... Who would you like to hump this hump day?

Maybe it's your hard-nosed journalistic styles. Maybe it's your impeccable credentials. Maybe it's your collective assortments of prizes and awards and honors. Maybe it's because you're like a gang, and gangs are tough and mean and sexy. Maybe it's the way the clock ticks, counting down the short time we have together. Oh yes. Today, I have a sweet Hump Day surprise. Today, I hump not one, not two, but many humpees. It's a special Hump Day Humpathon! Or Hussathon! I can't decide.

That's right. Entire 60 Minutes group of correspondents, today you are my Hump Day Hussies.

Earring? Are you kidding me? That kind of shit turns my crank!

I'll give you something to complain about, Andy!
Or, should I say... Randy?

Stone Something or other? Brock Whatevershisface?
I don't even know who this guy is! And I'll still hump him!

The more Morley, the better. You know what I'm talking about.

Have I got a sweet little retirement package of my own for you, Mike Wallace!
No, honestly. I'm not kidding. It's a basket. With some chocolate and some fruit. What? Did you think that was some sort of innuendo? Get your mind out of the gutter.

Between you and me, I'd like to hump you the most, Leslie Stahl. Cause you're a girl. But don't tell the others! It's our little secret! (Not that you're a girl. I think they know that, don't you? That I'd like to hump you the most. That's our secret, for goodness sakes.)

Steve Croft! So young! So virile! So Stevelicious!

All except for this guy. Who the fuck is he and when did he show up? He weirds me out. Oh wait. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he used to play Sulu on Star Trek.

Hump Day Hussy -- I've got something for journalists. What can I say?
Hump Day Hussy -- And comic strip characters.
Hump Day Hussy -- And Phoebe Cates also.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a second...There was a really hot (I think) Austrailian or British chick named Lara Logan that did a pretty scathing interview on Sunday. Now she's the only member of the 60 minutes crew that could and probably will get it from me.

- Loyal Anon

8:34 AM  
Blogger concha said...

i hope you're gonna be a topper, cause if not, somebody's ass is gonna be sore...

9:45 AM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

i have no idea what you're talking about. but i like it when you talk about asses.

10:12 AM  

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