Dear Evil Discussor... If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Sure it makes a sound. It sounds something like this.

YOOOOOOU ARE THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON THE PLAAAAANNNETTTTTT.

Sometimes, depending on the angle, it can also sound like so.

YOU ARE A HUGE PIECE OF CRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP.

And often, if the wind direction is just right, it sounds just like this. Listen closely.

I WISH YOU WOULD SHUDDDUP FOREVER, YOU TOTAL EFFING ASSSSSSSSSFFFFFFACE.

And that's the sound a tree makes when falling, while no one is around. Thanks for your question, questioner. Next time you think of a question like that, why don't you write it down and then immediately rip it up. And then punch yourself in the face.

I mean Fuck. You make it so hard for me to do my job here.


Yours truly,
E.D.

Oh, and here.
Here's an image that perfectly suits today's tree theme. And my total sadness at having to answer such soft-brained questions.